yael naim

cis ppl who date other cis ppl?

so i actually know a lot of cis ppl who date other cis ppl - yes really! they do! i can hardly even imagine what that must be like, but they do - and they've asked me if they're allowed to join here also. I wanted to ask the community for a discussion around this. Because I know, naturally, when we hear "partners of cis" we assume they're trans, and that's probably really fucked up transcentric behavior on my part, but I think it's understandable since all of the relationships we [trans ppl] have involving cis ppl are trans-cis relationships, and I mean, this place is mainly about all the issues and struggles we have of dealing with that, right? Cis ppl don't struggle with dating cis ppl because they don't have all that guilt and identity complexes, because i mean, cis ppl don't have identities or feelings to begin with. if i'm wrong, feel free to correct me in only the nicest of tones.

But then there's also issues like clocking by association. If a person's partner is cis I'm going to be more likely to assume the first person is cis. Cis ppl get clocked like that ALL THE TIME, especially the ones without passing privilege. Like I've met a couple ciswomen with really big laryngeal prominences, broad shoulders ... I actually mistook them for REAL WOMEN! I was very impressed, and made sure to compliment them a lot. But anyway, sorry for rambling. Cisness is just one of my favorite topics. :D
yael naim


OMG I'm so happy this space exists! I've dated so many cis ppl, I actually feel myself a part of the cis community. I even use their bathrooms, when they let me.

I'd love to share experiences with other ppl who have cis partners and so they also know a lot of what it's like to be cis. I know that not-transitioning is a big part of cispeoples' lives, but I also think that since we're with them every step of the way, it's like WE DON'T TRANSITION EITHER, yknow?

I learned a lot about cisgenderism and got really into cis rights when I dated my first cisperson. He - I mean she, sorry!!! I always forget! - she struggled through so much and I tried my best to be there during all his - I mean her, sorry - hard times, like when some cliquey transppl tried to nonconsensually label her as privileged. Ugh. That is SO how the holocaust happened! READ A HISTORY BOOK!!

I do wanna ask tho, why is this comm called partners_of_cis? From what I learned in the course of my various sexual encounters and 5 minute conversations with cis ppl, when I mean mostly I was too excited about all the cred I was earning to listen, but still I got some bits and pieces, and what I took away is that a lot of them don't like to be called cis because they don't identify that way. I think we should respect them and rename it partners-of-normal. Just a thought.